"Sentenced" to bed rest

30 weeks pregnant.

Until my life came crashing to a halt last tuesday I was working full time as a nanny and part time as a photographer and caring for my 2 1/2 year old.

I was busy all the time.

We were in the middle of a move.

Now my sole job is resting. Resting to give this baby the best chance at life. And Eating. Eating and Resting.

I cried for the first 3 days of hearing the dreaded words "bed rest".

A few things you should know about me...

I am the youngest child.

Because of that I have never been good at entertaining my self or being by my self; I always had my brother and sister around.

I am not good with quietness.

I just turned on music after realizing how quiet my room was.

I frequently say "I need stability".

I don't like relying on other people.

I hate asking for help.

I feel more comfortable when I am in control of things.

As you can imagine bed rest has pretty much pulled me right out of my comfort zone. I think that is right where God wants me. So here I am, in full surrender. I'm out 10 weeks of pay checks. I don't know what the future holds, but for the first time I feel this overwhelming since of peace. Peace that surpasses all understanding, as if I've been swallowed up by God's love for me and the life he placed inside me. Right now my job is to rest for the baby, yet somehow through that I have finally found the ability to rest in the Lord. It took me 24 years, but I got here. Sure their will be hard days ahead...

but I choose to cling to Him.